Recipe: Golden Fruitcake
Isn’t it funny that when you get a group of people together, you can usually divide them up in so many different groups with just a few words?
Cat lovers over here, dog lovers over there. Easy listening on the right, Heavy Metal on the left.
Vanilla? Chocolate.
Hey, fruitcake lovers, join me on the couch.
Oh, no…
NOT another post about FRUITCAKE!
Well, we figured you’d be out at the mall shopping today, and maybe we could slip this one past you.
Or not.
If you’ve managed to get past the word FRUITCAKE, read on. This chocolate chunk, pecan, cherry/cranberry version might just be the recipe that finally tickles your fruitcake fancy–
Recipe: Fruitcake Drops
Pity the poor fruitcake!
It’s derided mercilessly. It’s re-gifted shamelessly.
It’s the butt of many a joke: “Best thing to do with fruitcake: use it as a doorstop.”
Manitou Springs, Colorado, holds an annual Great Fruitcake Toss, “a strangely compelling spectacle in which participants fling fruitcakes through the air, competing in events that emphasize distance, accuracy, and showmanship.”
This according to Failure magazine, an “online publication full of humankind’s boldest missteps.”
Fruitcake: a bold misstep!
Recipe: Orange-Cranberry-Nut Fruit Cake
C’mon, admit it. You KNOW it wouldn’t be December without candied red cherries.
Never mind those icky green ones. I mean, where did THAT idea ever come from, that translucent, kelly-green cherries would be something you’d willingly put in your mouth?
As any self-respecting 4-year-old would say: EWWWWWWW. (more…)
Recipe: Taste of the Tropics Fruit Cake
We’ve all heard the never-ending array of holiday fruitcake jokes, right?
The famous Johnny Carson line: “There really is only one fruitcake in the world, passed from family to family.”
And the recipe that starts like this: “10 undented cans of Spam, 5 bags of those horrible little jellied fruits…”
And this ditty, sung to the tune of The Monkees’ Last Train to Clarksville:
Eat the last piece of fruitcake
that we got from Auntie Mabel
We can’t keep it in the kitchen
‘cause it broke right through the table and the floor
Oh no no no, oh no no no… (more…)
Recipe: Fruitcake Drops
Believe it or not, fruitcake–the butt of so many holiday jokes–has its fans. And I’ve discovered, since working here at King Arthur, that it’s not fruitcake I didn’t like all those years; it’s that icky tasting candied peel and citron people usually throw into it. There are apparently those who love citron… (more…)
